5 - Hands on

Image - Madam Poulette

"Malcolm, I really do have an urgent need for you to show me how to handle chickens". "How do I pick them up without hurting them"? At this point Malcolm is 100% absorbed with his new Tonka Toy purchase - A Compact Tractor! This fabulous toy will do everything required for running our land mass - except of course, showing me how to pick up chickens. "Take a look at this bit of kit", "its built like a brick shit house" he says smiling. I have more urgent things on my mind. He continues, "Great bucket for transporting the logs and look at that engine" he says enthusiastically. "Mmmm terrific purchase" I say, trying to sound convincing. I conclude at this point that he has his Engineering hat on and there will be little point in attempting to fight the cause any further...I trundle back to the house, grab the all important Poultry Bible and look through the index, on how to handle chickens - Yes you guessed it, nothing. However, from the book I do indeed establish that Madam Poulet is possibly brooding...

Ah Ha, got an answer at last and one all important suggestion is that, if you don't want chicks, then it is best to take the eggs away as soon as possible. "Oh Yes Great - state the obvious" ,"HOW", I shout out angrily. At this point Malcolm comes back into the house. "Right" he says cheerily, "the tractor is all set up for you to take it for a ride, its really great fun, come and have a go"...Book in right hand - what do I do next?