7 - How to Handle a Chicken

Image - Man and Toy

"Bonjour Monsieur Poulet, Bonjour Madam Poulette, how are we all today then" my Husband-sugar plum says, as we both approach Hen Pen. Apart from a bit of flapping of wings, he gets little other in response "How are we coming along with the eggs, how many eggs today girls?" he chatters on, as if he has known them all his life...

After a little coaxing Sugar Plum has succumbed to my wishes and is about to show me how to handle a chicken. First we go into Coup 2 and the black hen is as always in the far corner in solitary confinement of her own choice. Malcolm shoo's her out and as always she squawks like mad and makes a dash for it. One look at his size 13 shoes and she is not for an argument with this guy - and I don't blame her!! "Hmm, no eggs in here". We then go into Coup 1, its the smaller of the two coups and where the chickens sleep at night. Madam Poulette is once again sitting cosily in the nest. "Right then, this is how you handle a chicken" Madam Poulette has an eye on him and I wonder how she is going to react. He spreads his hands out and then covers her back and wings and then slowly lifts her out of the nest. He then tucks her under his arm and strokes her tendily. Sugar Plum, then encourages me to stroke her, which I do and and make the comment on how soft she is. "She's lovely" he says "a really nice bird, you won't have any problem with her"...

Madam Poulette had been sitting on four eggs. -I sigh "A result at last". On close examination of the eggs, I notice that all the eggs are different sizes and shapes. This time we do not eat them, as we cannot be sure on how long they have been there...

"Tractor time" Malcolm says. "No, No" I say. I am still concerned that I have not handled the chicken myself yet" I argue. "You will be fine" he says , "have a go tomorrow and see how you get on, its really very easy". "But Sugar Plum, you will not be here for the next 4 days" I say, feeling exasperated - he has to go back to work in England. He is walking toward his new toy as he is talking to me and I know that its all a bit hopeless persuing the cause any longer. "Think what your daughters will say, when they arrive if they know you are afraid to pick up a chicken"...He has a point, I have to get a grip on this silly situation and be strong, can't have my daughters laughing at me, now can I...